Married Couples: how do you manage your finances?

Unlike most replies, my wife and I (together 8 years) have no joint accounts, but do have transparency into each other's finances, with a positive attitude that it's not "our" money by default, but we continually make a new choice to share it with each other by volunteering to pay for things. In that way every time I pay for something, it's like a gift freely given to her, and vice versa. We always make sure to thank each other when this happens. We both have enough money to live separately if we split. Of course we don't talk about splitting, but we feel the absence of financial chains binding us to the marriage is important in focusing our partnership on the positive choice we make to stay together because we love each other, in a context free of weird money stuff. We have, so far, never fought about money.

I budget and track everything in YNAB, because it and the practices recommended in this sub led directly to me being able to afford buying a house in our outrageously expensive area, so I get warm fuzzies when budgeting. She doesn't track her expenses explicitly because she is already naturally very frugal. Since we keep separate finances, this disparity in tracking doesn't bother either of us.

While we were dating, I had no debt other than the mortgage, and she had student loans. I offered to pay off her student loans because I was 100% sure we'd get married and I couldn't bear to see high interest loans. Her family surprised me by stepping in and paying her loans for her, but I got a ton of brownie points for offering.

From this description it might sound like we're rich or something. But I guarantee this is not the case. Spending below our means is how we can avoid most financial stresses.

/r/personalfinance Thread