I don't have a lot of advice to offer, but I can relate. We also have 2 children separated by 2 years. My wife, while not a "ideologue" exactly, is definitely sympathetic to BLM, etc etc etc. She considers herself a Marxist though she admits she doesn't really know much about it. She just considers herself sympathetic and kind and this somehow is represented by Marxism? Ok, whatever. I've given up trying to discuss the topic because we get nowhere.

We've agreed to stay away from political topics, which is easy for her because she doesn't really seem to care much.

I've said the same things to her that you said.... "You have a white son. Are you ok with him being mistreated because of his gender and skin color?"

I think it's vitally important you keep yourself involved with your kids as much as you can, and a divorce might impede on that. Try to make the peace and "agree to disagree" for the kids sake.

As for the issue with your wife turning your son into a drag queen... I don't know how this happens exactly, but maybe just support your son being himself. I don't know the mechanics of a mother forcing "drag queen" on a son. I can see where that might work, but I'm thinking of my own son who, without any of my guidance just flat out rejects "girl things". He doesn't want the pink cup because that's a "girls cup". He's 6 and is quite sure he doesn't want to be perceived as a girl. I don't recall being so emphatic about this when I was his age. You'd think his older sister might influence him to be more "girly", but there is no evidence of this. Perhaps you can't really force an identity on a child if they aren't already inclined in that direction. Not without some trauma or something which I'm sure you'd but a stop to if she went that far.

Good luck and I wish you the best.