Thank you for letting me know those options. I think what has me so hung up is that I did have a good relationship with my therapist! So now that it's most likely ended this way it feels like continuation of the theme in my life that good things are fake, healthy connection isn't attainable, and even when I think I'm taking positive steps, things are actually getting worse.

I used to tell my ex what you basically told me--"I know you have had bad therapist experiences but when you find the right one you'll see how great it can be! Maybe you just need one you chose yourself now that you're an adult! I was lucky enough to find a great one right away and I can't imagine life without therapy now!" Seriously I've been a walking advertisement for therapy since I started to the point of having to learn that not everyone is a safe person to tell that you're in therapy.

Or when I see people on here tell others, "Not all therapists are going to ghost you, I've been seeing mine for over a year and all good here!" I just think of how I would have said the same for three years.