Matt Hardy: "I feel like some of Jeff's issues probably come from our mother dying when he was so, so young. That was always an issue that he carried with him deeply."

Truely, if you haven’t lost a parent at a young impressionable age, you have no idea what Matt means here.

I lost my mother when I was 7. My father and her divorced about a year prior and she met a new man who introduced her to drugs. She was the valedictorian of her HS class and was a pretty heavy stoner prior but nothing beyond that.

I loved with my grandmom at the time because my dad was an alcoholic, and when my mom decided to leave the new guy and try to get clean, she came and stayed at her moms where I was.

I’ll never forget the last night I had with my mother. It was amazing. I remember not seeing her a lot during this time during the drugs and I remember it felt amazing to have her back. We drank Mountain Dew and shot hoops outside until dark, and then we got in bed and watched South Park together.

I don’t remember exactly which episode, but I fell asleep to the episode where Jesus (or someone, I forget it was 2004) gets nailed to a cross.

When I woke up the next morning, my mom was in the sitting position in the corner of the room facing the wall, stiff as a board. I had no idea what was happening, and couldn’t get out because my mom locked the door, probably figuring she’d unlock it once she got to do her drugs again, so I was locked in the room with her body screaming and banging on the door. That relapse cost her her life as well giving her children (me in particular) serious mental trauma that I will never get over. I love my mom, I forgive her for what she did and I’m sure she never meant for me to see what I saw, but god dammit if I don’t break down and cry like a baby every now and again when those emotions come back as a 26yr old man. I’m now creeping up on my moms age when she passed (32) and it’s crazy to think how young and childlike I still feel. She probably felt this way as well and had her whole life to look forward too.

I’ll never know, but I sincerely hope she wasn’t aware of the fact that she OD’ed and was dying and leaving her kids behind. I just hope she didn’t know while it was happening.

/r/SquaredCircle Thread Link - restlingnews.co