The mattress war

Of course they want to "come help". Because it's terrifying that you actually exert autonomy and what if the unthinkable happens and one day you don't need them anymore! My parents were like this with EVERYTHING. I am really sorry OP and I can totally understand what you are going through. They just have to taint, minimize or plain disrespect everything good you try to do for yourself.

When I was 18-19, my parents had keys for my apartment "just in case" which quickly escalated on them showing up unannounced and making themselves comfortable every time they felt like it. There was a time Efather had a huge disagreement with my mother and decided to walk out on her 3 days before a super important for me exam.

He has 2 other vacant fully furnished apartments he could go to, but no, he had to come to mine because "we only have each other" (emotional incest levels off the charts).

After he left I changed the locks. Of course huge drama ensured, but now I follow the broken record tactic. I always respond:

"I am an adult and adults don't need others to constantly help them, it's codependent and unhealthy behavior".

What follows is toddler tandrums, pouting, blocking and eventually they get over it until the next episode occurs. Only permanent NC and moving to a different country will solve this.

My advice is: until you are capable of getting a restraining order/disowning them/be completely independent: endure and ignore.

You are not alone, many of us go through similar stupid dramas.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread