I just realized I may have been "raisedbynarcissists".

And I don't know if that makes me feel better about my life or worse.

Thank God I was able to finally move out 8 months ago. I can't even begin to tell you all how much happier I am now.

Just the little things... like while I was dealing with Anorexia age 13-16 mostly, telling me I was "Ugly" or "Too skinny". Pointing out people she found unattractive or too skinny and telling me I looked like them, instead of trying to make me feel good about myself. Not sending me to therapy because "Therapists make kids hate their parents, they don't actually help. They're just gonna bad mouth me."

Getting angry at me for going to work 30 minutes early, because my father and brother got into a fight and I almost got hit in the face by the remote my father tried to throw at my brother... Followed by my mother screaming about how she hates everyone...only to get to work and receive several text messages about what a horrible daughter I am for abandoning her and leaving for work, all I ever do is run, don't ever bother coming home again, etc.

Or that time my mom wrote down a list of all of my flaws (A LITERAL LIST) and made me sit there in front of my father as she read them out loud to me and made me feel like shit...

I could go on but I won't. Thankfully I'm in a much better place now. I still talk to my parents but I live on my own. My mother was diagnosed with cancer last year and the medications she's on make her even harder to deal with. I have 3 siblings and she gets along much better with them. (I'm the youngest) I love my parents but I just can't live with them or have actual adult conversations with them. If I think about it too much I just get depressed.