I don't do this with people I know (I don't know anyone who plans on having kids soon, they either already have them or can't have them). I have some marriage-related distant cousins with kids and I think they're Lifescripting idiots who played adult with the first person they could tolerate. One of the wives looks miserable chasing Junior, sporting a perma-scowl. Thing is, they're nice people, and they've been conditioned to believe that they really want children, and they'd probably be decent parents capable of supporting them. No kids are better than shit kids, and while I suspect they're truly, truly miserable because of all their obligation/lack of freedom/not knowing partner fully, I imagine a miscarriage would crush them.

I spend quite a bit of time riding busses through the poorest neighbourhood in the city with A LOT of single mothers and newly arrived families... these are the last people in the entire world who should be having more children. There is no government benefit anywhere that makes it a prudent financial decision to have children without severely ignoring that child's needs. But the short term thinking, poverty cycle mindset makes it seem like a few hundred bucks a month for popping out a kid is a large sum of money (or having a child on new soil opens doors for citizenship).

Have to stop the perception that childbirth aids financially in the case of those living hand to mouth + have to stop rewarding childbirth by 100% of people in 100% of situations + have to plant the seed that being CF or being single doesn't mean you're a bumbling idiot at the executive level in labour/middle class and higher classes socially.