I take relationships so much seriously, and I told myself that I would never cheat because I wouldn't put anyone through the same pain that I have experienced from having a parent that is absent and has had numerous affairs. I guess it's also what makes me loyal to a fault, I then vowed that I would never engage in infidelity myself. However I have a person, and I am so in love with him, but I do not think that life would allow us to happen in a way that I want. I really am certain that it's him because I refuse to allow myself to fall for anyone anymore, even if I cannot have him in the way that I want, I still would think of him as the love of my life. I am afraid that if I get into a relationship I would still think of him, and I do think it's very unfair for someone to just be loved half-heartedly, and I wouldn't like to make anyone feel that way specially my would be then spouse. I also never think much about it but I'm also afraid that I might wake up one day and have cold feet.

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I still wouldn't risk to be honest, and if I were to fall in love with someone else by the time that I'm already committed to someone, I hope that I end up things in good terms with that person, but I still would rather not risk having to go through it, I would still not go for anyone if I still haven't moved on from my person no matter how long it takes, even until the day that I die.

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I used to think that the overall experience of true love only promises good, and that it only consists of breathtaking moments and bliss, but in my case true love is a life sentence. I still do not regret it, however I now realize that we might not be aware of the fact that everyone in this lifetime has possibly met their true love, but only a very few gets to end up with theirs.