Me [15F] with my dad[46 M] married my school bully mom, and now our relationship is totally broken.

Late response but ya might see it. As a 19 year old who's parents broke up at a similar time to yours it was quite confusing at the time. I didn't really realise how aspects of myself changed at the time. I used to be real into languages and drama, was quite extroverted. Following the parents breaking up there was a shift as i moved in with my dad. I became a lot more sheltered and transitioned slowly becoming progressively more introverted and quiet.

At the time it can be hard to reconcile the feelings you will have at a time like this. You probably won't understand the full extent of how it'll affect you until you grow. What I will say is that therapy shouldn't be a big negative for you. I didn't want to go near it as the time, i just wanted to continue my life how it was and try my hardest not to let what was happening around me at home affect how i was on the day to day.

In hindsight that was a mistake, the next few years were pretty dark. I'd wall off thinking about or talking about what happened back then, almost treating it as if my parents breaking up was nothing. In reality it isn't, it's pretty big. From experience i can tell you the best way to not let it negatively affect you is to try and come to terms with the events as best as possible.

If therapy is an option for you i really would take it. Even if it proves fruitless for you now it will still help you understand how you feel about the events. If i was in your position i would also talk about it with your mother. Times like that are going to be stressful for the both of you, letting her know you're there will be important for her mental health too.

As for your Dad I'm at a loss with advice. After what happened to me i would be quite biased in giving any form of comments. What i would say is just act how you feel. If you're uncomfortable around the man and he asks you just have to say how you feel. Things like that aren't irreparable, it just isn't easy.

Idk if any of that helped but basically therapy/talking with your mother would to me seem like the best way of finding a resolution. I kinda cut off my mum in the couple of years after what happened with my family, and in hindsight whilst understandable it was regrettable. But mainly look after yourself, don't try and wall emotions you may have for your dad and his wife off - because it'll be worse for you in the long run.

/r/relationships Thread