Me [19 F] wondering about the appeal of younger girls to older guys and vice versa. And your thoughts on it?

I'm 31 now, but when I was 23 I met and fell in love with a guy who was 17 years older than me.

It started as just a no-strings attached hookup. We met through work. It was a summer job right after university for me, he had just moved to a new city and got the job through a friend who also worked there. We were both single, we were just having fun.

Then it turned out he had to go back to his hometown for some family stuff. When he sat me down to tell me I couldn't believe how emotional I got. It was then that we both knew how attached we'd gotten. So we decided to do an LDR. That went on for about 8 months and then we were able to move in together.

As for what attracted us to each other? Well, on my end of things he was a smart, handsome man who had a great sense of humor. I had dated a lot of guys my own age and was fed up. I was tired of being dumped or cheated on every time they saw someone they thought was more attractive than me. I was tired of having to talk guys through totally ordinary adult things. I was tired of being the "mom" to my boyfriends. So an older guy was VERY attractive to me, not only did he have his shit together but he had lived and had a whole life before he even met me. He didn't need me. But as someone who loves to learn, I never got tired of him showing me things, and he's helped me through a lot of stuff.

For him, I was a young person with everything ahead of them. He had been through a divorce and a bad job situation and was kinda depressed. He enjoyed being with me and seeing and hearing about things from my perspective which was different and intriguing. For him it was almost a rebirth, he realized he didn't have to get married, move to the suburbs and get a mini van because that was what his parents did and what he and his ex did, it was all he knew.

So we decided to make a life together, to live our lives the way we wanted to and to be happy together. We've been together almost 9 years now. The relationship has had its ups and downs, but the age thing doesn't really come into play as often as people think it might.

/r/relationships Thread