I know I should just do what I feel is right, talk to that girl if I feel like it, but I don't know if I should. I don't want a date xD I have no idea what we would do. Hell I thought I'm confident but I'm not. But maybe I'll just talk to her tomorrow, why the hell not...it's probably because I don't think I'm good enough for her. Oh, but the funny thing, when I was actually "in love" there was no such thing as lack of confidence. One time I felt truly brave I guess...but I knew who i was falling in love with, more or less. How do you control your anxiety...it feels like something that shouldn't happen at all. And yet it does, because I am afraid that I am not "good enough" and I will embarass myself by even trying. My friends...most say I shouldn't try because I look desperate unless I'm really handsome and smooth (I'm average-looking and too anxious to be smooth) with girls. Why don't I just talk with her Lol. Maybe I am just friendly. It's funny that I talk with girls all the time, half of my friends are girls - yeah ! But I had absolutely no anxiety when talking to them because I didn't find them attractive (not because they're ugly but not my types at all). Maybe it's true that I should just carry on as usual and not get out of my way to find someone. But it can take months. Love is like a drug to me. I had no idea I could get addicted to that feeling - but it's so empowering...I never felt that good, confident and decisive. I think life feels boring to me after that. Which is silly because it should feel great after those few years at home but no, it doesn't. Hence my disappointment.

I have no idea what I want to achieve with this thread.

Guess I want to see if any actual, real, breathing romantic people are out there or is it just a phantom thing that doesn't happen unless you're really weird like I am.