Me [20F] with my best friend since middle school [19F]... I slept in the same bed as her and my boyfriend [19M] got mad.

even if she was bi/lesbian it would never be a relationship I would pursue.

Does that really make it better though? If you're bisexual, (at least I think) you really don't get the same ... privileges(?) with female friends.

The point is, you are sexually attracted to someone you laid in bed with. Since you already made the "in bed with a guy" analogy, let me ask you this - if your SO slept in bed with a girl - who he was sexually attracted to, would it matter at all to you that he "didn't think she was relationship material"?

A huge amount of sex that goes on in the world happens between two people who already know they're A) not going to see each other again or B) a relationship won't happen for whatever reason.

IMHO - you fucked up, and he has every right to be upset. And you know it's true because if you flipped things around you'd be just as upset. I hesitate to call it cheating, but I also think it wasn't not cheating. Sleeping in bed with someone you are sexually attracted to is an absolute no no. Somewhere else in this thread you mentioned "we hadn't set up boundaries about this"..

Are you serious? Do you really need to have a 1 on 1 conversation with your already monogamous-committed boyfriend about how you would prefer he not have a girl drop to her panties in front of him, and then proceed to sleep in the same bed with her? All the while admitting to himself that he was sexually attracted to her?

That's nonsense.

I think you have just as much apologizing to do, and just as much trust to rebuild as he thinks you do.

I think the problem here is that everyone is too focused on genders. Here's my advice to you - rewrite this story so that it's gender neutral (and as a bisexual, I think that gender neutral is an honest perspective to look at things from) - and then re-read it.

It stops being "I slept in bed with a long time girl-friend of mine", and starts reading more like the truth - "I slept in bed with a long term friend of mine, whom I already knew I was sexually attracted to.".

/r/relationships Thread Parent