Me [20F] with my boyfriend [24M] 2 years, how to show things are back to normal after unwanted crying?

So a few things:

He's right that you should work on being more independent.

That said, I am really leery of your stated dynamic of him being "rational" and you being "emotional" (aka irrational). This is a trap that a lot of younger couples fall into where one of the partners, usually the guy, is the "rational" one and the other is the "emotional" one. It shouldn't need to be said, but humans are 1) inherently irrational (yes, even your boyfriend) and 2) emotions are not inherently bad in and of themselves. A lot of people mistake that feeling that we all get of being "right" as evidence of their rationality. People who consider themselves rational are just as prone to following their emotions. Privileging rationality over emotions all the time is not a recipe for a successful long term relationship.

In regards to your crying, please realize that tears are a natural response to stress. It's a cathartic action that the body uses to an upsetting or stressful situation. It's not a sign of irrationality. Some people are more prone to crying than others, just like some people are more sensitive to temperature changes than others. As long as you're not using it as a manipulation tactic (and it doesn't sound you are, they sound spontaneous and uncontrolled), you're fine. People who are not naturally cryers tend to assume that someone crying means that the worst has happened, which I am guessing is how your boyfriend is interpreting things.

Your boyfriend needs to give a little in regards to your tears. You're a bit of a cryer. That's totally fine. One of my best friends is as well. Your boyfriend needs to recognize that your crying as a reaction to something upsetting is normal and it's something that he needs to get better about accepting.

/r/relationships Thread