Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] 2.5 years, 3 months pregnant and wants to keep it.

I am responsible for my reproductive organs ... not my partner.

That's your personal view. Other people are welcome to have different relationships than you.

Some people trust their partner entirely, and expect them to make the choices they commit to.

Other people are uneasy using condoms for a variety of reasons - from it not feeling as good, to latex allergies and discomfort while using non-latex condoms.

Those people choose to trust their partners.

While this guy and his GF clearly have a bad relationship, it's absurd to expect that everyone has to follow your very independent & individualistic perspective on how to maintain a childfree life.

My girlfriend and I don't have such an individualistic perspective. I don't think "that is her vagina, she should make sure it doesn't pop out a baby". She doesn't think "that is his penis, he needs to wrap it up himself".

We think - "hey, we don't want babies, we trust that about each other and we will take the necessary steps to make sure that doesn't happen."

And we're not abnormal or codependent, we're pretty standard. When she returned from trips and was jet lagged, I happily reminded her of when to take her BC and would wake her up to take it on time. When she got on antibiotics, she grabbed some condoms because obviously efficacy of BC decreases while on antibiotics.

We're a team - it's nice to feel like we're a team. It's not just this one situation where we're a team ... we're a team in everything that we do. We support one another.

Now, when it comes to one night stands and whatnot - of course that is the individuals responsibility. But part of being on a team is being able to trust the other person fully and feeling that you and this person are on the same page.

Again - you are welcome to lead your life as you please. But we're not talking about a 1 month dating type situation. This guy has been with his girlfriend for 2.5 years. That's a long period of time. She arbitrarily decided to stop taking BC for one month.

He's dealing with a bizarre situation, it's really weird to blame him.

I mean, what happens if someone pokes a hole in condoms? That's basically what's happened here from what I can see. It's not an accident that she got pregnant. She literally just stopped taking her BC for a fucking month while he's under the impression that she's taking BC.

If she was on antibiotics, or she was religiously taking it ... and then she got pregnant, I'd at least think "damn, that's bad luck - guess it could happen to anyone." but that's not this situation.

/r/relationships Thread Parent