I personally deal with it by being incredibly happy when I am in a relationship. Fair to say it doesn't balance out as well as I would have liked, but I feel like it evens out it whenever I'm with someone that's worth it.

It's just crazy for me to believe that things would end this way. I wasn't prepared for any of this. We were very good friends for 3 years so it's not like choosing to date as of 5 months ago was that huge of a step for us. In all honesty our honeymoon period was the entirety of the time I've known her, even up to last week until she decided to become distant and cut me out of her life. I can't stop overthinking in a scenario where I'm practically forced to question everything. I'm absolutely godawful at focusing on myself.

I just don't know where I went wrong. I never expected anything from her. I never pushed her. I was never clingy. I encouraged her to do what she wants and explore considering she's born and raised in NY. For the 3 years I've known her as my best friend and the 5 months I spent in an official relationship with her, I can't help but feel that any human being in my position would feel any differently than I do.

I don't know if you read my whole story, but I've known her for well over 5 months to a high degree. At our ages, 3 years might as well be a decade.

The issue is no matter what I do, I feel empty without a relationship. My health is great as I consistently go to the gym and recently quit smoking, am in my fourth year of college since I took an accelerated course, have spent a lot of money on my little hobbies and interests, and have friends I would take a bullet for without hesitation. I have all of that and it just feels completely like nothing if I can't share that happiness with someone else.

I know it's strange but no matter how happy and fulfilled I am as a single person, I cannot bring myself to become truly happy unless I can share it with a partner; and this partner shared everything with me, including everything I listed.