he said he still thinks about having sex with others/lusting after others.
I see a difference between "lusting after others" and experiencing sexual fantasies where "others" from my real life play a role in the fantasy. Without even intending or trying, I find myself "borrowing" someone's face or voice or personality or body and those things sometimes play a role in my fantasies.
But I never mistake the "borrowed" objects for real life or actual people and I'm clear about which is more valuable to me and which deserves my time and care and energy and attention. I would never think to "chase" my fantasy objects because I know they don't align with reality and who people really are.
The difference between sexual fantasy and sexual reality is that fantasy has no consequences. Disease and dishonesty and emotional turmoil don't exist in my land of sexual fantasy.
Not everyone has a clear conception of the line of demarcation between the dream world of fantasy and the actuality of reality. For some people those lines are blurry or non-existent.
I can fantasize about making out with that cute girl I saw at the grocery store without worrying if she's an ignorant racist, or she's rude to wait staff, or she lies about everything, or she's disrespectful to strangers, or she carries disease. She's just a fantasy object that aligns perfectly with whatever my inner desire is at that moment.
It's clear to me that my fantasy girl and the actual girl are not the same thing even though they share the same face. I don't confuse the two but some people do and they then chase the fantasy object.
Some people believe their "borrowed" fantasy object aligns with actual reality and they invariably end up being disillusioned once the chase is over. Often they come face to face with consequences like those I mentioned.
It's a matter of being able to tell the difference between the object of his desire and his inner image of woman.
Some 48 year olds never get clarity on this and some 22 year olds see it plain as day.
On an unrelated note:
The idea that he equates suppression of his feelings with being a man is going to have consequences one day. I suppose it's not uncommon for males his age, but that chicken is going to come home to roost at some point. Everything that's being suppressed is going to start seeping up through the cracks eventually.
Also, it doesn't matter if you're the greatest lover on Earth and you experiment with toys and offer anything he asks. The problem is in him, in his head. If he's chasing that dragon and getting a dopamine fix and an ego boost from "the chase", you can't provide this. This is no shortcoming of yours, since no individual woman could ever provide this. Once she's caught and conquered, the rush is gone and the junkie is out looking for his next fix in the form of another fantasy object to satisfy the ego.