Me [22M] and gf [18F] disagree on the disrespect of bad punctuality. It's getting unbearable and makes me feel worthless.

It sounds like she may be dealing with some insecurities if she spends that long on her appearance, especially since you mentioned she’s a model meaning she’s probably surrounded by couture constantly. Three hours worth of effort into hair and makeup is not going to realistically alter your appearance THAT much, it sounds like she be taking an excessive amount of time due to her trying to ‘perfect’ the way she looks.

Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but when I’ve spent that much time on my appearance myself it was because I really didn’t feel confident or secure in the way that I look. I would have stress and anxiety if my routine wouldn’t be finished perfectly, and I disliked appearing in public without looking done up.

Many women struggle with behaviors like that because it’s subconsciously engrained that their looks alone aren’t enough and they must ‘fix’ what’s wrong with them. It took me a long time learn how subconscious it was, and how it was a deeper issue with self esteem instead of “just getting ready”.

Again, this may or may not be the case. It sounds like you two have some fundamental differences. 22 and 18 can be two completely different stages of life for some people, and sometimes it can be difficult to be on the same wavelength when your desires and priorities differ from each other.

I’d really try to establish open and honest communication with your girlfriend about all of these concerns, letting her know your priorities for the relationship and hearing hers and seeing how you both can compromise to improve your relationship. If that doesn’t work, you’re not obligated to date her or stay with her (even though that’s often easier said than done).

/r/relationships Thread