Me [23F] have been with my boyfriend [26M] for 6 months, I was raped three years ago and I can't help but think it's going to ruin our relationship.

This sounds really similar to my last relationship, with me being in your bf's position. My ex was abused as a girl, had very little real experience with dating growing up, and then was abused in her only adult relationship prior to me. It was amazing when we started dating. We were so happy with each other for about a year, and she hadn't really opened up to me about her past. Once she did, things changed big time. She had a lot of panic attacks around me and she used me as her punching bag (she was terrified of men and assumed all men including me couldn't be trusted, were dangerous, wanted to hurt her). I tried so hard to not take it personally, to be patient with her, console her. I convinced her to go see a counselor. It helped, but every once in a while she would unexpectedly explode at me. We were both really stressed out over the whole thing and had to split up after a year of turmoil.

I've remained friends with her, and it really seems like she's conquered most of her issues with the help of her counselor. She just started dating someone new for the first time, and it's killing me. I wanted to be with her, and I tried so hard to help her get through everything, but now that she's made so much progress, someone else is going to get to be with her.

Since I've been in his situation, I'm guessing that if he's with you and trying to be patient and trying to help, you should believe him. He could've left at any time, and if he is choosing to stick with you, it's because he cares deeply about you and he wants to make it work. Just hang in there, let him know you appreciate him, and don't beat yourself up over any of this. Just do the best you can.

/r/relationships Thread