Thanks for taking the time to read this and reply.

Honestly.. a lot of the things I said in this post I have not said to him. I haven't told him not to date other people or that I want him to take me on dates. I just said I wanted to hang out more, I have never even asked about other girls he's with. Also, I do not want him to text me throughout the day and things like that!! Trust me, maybe this post came off in a way I didn't mean it to, but I am super laid back and I NEED my space. Even if we were in a relationship, I'd only want to talk and see him a few times a week.

But I do see how I have been contradictory. The truth is I can be insecure, not to a huge fault, but I do sometimes wonder things like "does he find me attractive or am I just easy for him to have sex with", etc. My insecurities do keep me from certain things and do make me feel like texting him to ask him to hang out is a huge accomplishment. I know it shouldn't be, but it is for me because I feel like it helps me overcome the insecurity and I feel like I'm trying to trust him and show him I care.

Honestly, I do want to be with him, but if we were to wait for a few more months that would be totally fine with me. I just haven't really been in a serious or long term relationship before and I don't really know how to "do" it or if it would ruin what we have right now. But, if the situation was either commit to a serious relationship or continue to do this thing for more years to come, I'd choose the relationship in a heartbeat.

Also, I am kind of confused as to why you think he has made it clear he wants a relationship with me? I would jump at it if he ever did, but he never has and I kind of think he doesn't necessarily want a relationship because the last person he was in a relationship with abused him and messed him up (though that was 3 years or so ago). And he's never seemed to be the relationship type but I could be wrong.

And I do want to make clear that I am not the drama type of girl AT ALL. I literally have 0 drama in my life. I have a lot of friends who always have constant drama (which doesn't involve me) and I kinda just listen to their issues all the time and give advice. I think you interpreted me as being dramatic because of how wishy-washy/contradictory I appear, but I come off that way because I'm not confident enough to say what I want and I'm scared of being rejected again, not because I enjoy creating drama (trust me, I don't).

Agh, anyway, thanks for your advice and I know I have a lot of work to do.