Me [23F] with my ex-boyfriend [23M] of 4.5 years, wondering if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life

If you're not happy in the relationship, leave. Don't drag it out, let him move on and start the years-long healing process that a relationship of this length and level of commitment ending takes.

Don't expect to come out of this without being the bad guy though. You've got someone in love with you who you built a life with and you're calling it quits because you're just not feeling it anymore and making moves on another guy basically at the same time. He's going to feel like you're the bad guy, and he won't be wrong, really. What you've done and the way you've done it will create baggage he'll be dealing with for years.

You made a mistake, a huge one that will fundamentally alter the course of Ryan's life. And he may never forgive you for that.

But we all have to be the bad guy at some point in life, to someone. Accept it, acknowledge that he has a right to those feelings and even to hate you if that's where this goes, and own up to your decisions. Staying when you're unhappy will do more harm than good, especially if nothing changes. From what you're saying, it sounds unlikely you're going to wake up tomorrow and decide you want to spend your life with him.

/r/relationships Thread