Me [24 M] with my wife [23 F] of 2 years, She admitted she cheated moments after cheating... I need help fixing the marriage

Listen, here's the deal. You just don't know with cheaters. I've cheated, I've been cheated on, and I know a lot of people that are the same. What I've learned is that women will often develop an emotional connection with the other guy. I imagine your wife did this, or felt this from her past. Then they do the deed, and sometimes it's fireworks, butterflies, rainbows and puppy dogs. That's when the affair continues until they inevitably get caught, or tell you they want out. Sometimes, however, the deed won't live up to expectations, it's awkward, the sex isn't good, they realize it was all in their head, and/or they're so racked with guilt that they end it.

Here's the problem though, will you ever trust her again? Will you ever feel the same about her again? Let's say you forgive her, and try to move on. Well that brings up a whole host of problems. Will this drive a wedge in your relationship? You don't think it will, but just wait until you two get in arguments, and you throw this in her face (and yes, yes you will). Or it slowly eats away at you, until you two have a dead bedroom. On the other hand, she might feel deep inside that you're just a big pussy, and now she kind of has you wrapped around her finger, so she's going to be more inclined to cheat down the road (not you, and not her, huh? I've seen it happen plenty of time my friend). It seems she was pretty quick to cheat this time when things were supposedly good between you two. What about 10 years from now?

And that's the real problem OP. What about 10 years from now? At this point, you can start fresh. You're very young. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you can still date women that are not divorced with kids, and a lot of baggage. But what about when you're 35, and you two have kids together, and she cheats again, or your relationship falls apart because you never could really get over it? Now you have kids, a messy divorce, and big child support payments. Now think about having to start over...

You're trapped. You can't move because of the kids. You can't take career risks because you're financially strapped. You can't date women you want because now you're the one divorced with kids, and baggage. Do you really want to risk your future on some woman that didn't think twice about jumping in bed with some douchebag from high school?

If there's any doubt in your mind, you should get out now before it's too late. I've only seen one couple that's made it work after an affair. Good luck either way.

/r/relationships Thread