Me (24F) and my ex (23M) just broke up. He's determined to work things out, but I'm torn. I'm not sure the relationship is salvageable after the sexual problems that lead to the split.

Even then with saying no, I do the same to my guy if I’m tired and he starts to mess w me until he turns me on. He’s not doing it because he doesn’t respect you, he finds you attractive and he probably just doesn’t understand. Since you were sexually assaulted I can see how it would be an issue for you. But that’s a hard thing for people to understand if they’ve never gone through it. My friend went through a point where she went to a counselor where they dug into her sexual assault experience and she didn’t want to be touched by her man for months. It eventually made him nervous to make any moves on her and she ended up feeling unattractive, but her pushing him away like that for so long started to confuse him as well. Now they are healthy and she dealt w her fears from her past and is fully comfortable in the relationship. So it is survivable. You both have to be on the same page though. He might not understand or ever really get it, but people make mistakes, especially when they don’t understand the other person perception. So you both just have to communicate.

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