Your post seemed to really hate on skinny women, which is why I questioned it. There are a lot of troll posts in /r/relationships lately. If you who you say you are then good on you for taking care of your body and pushing yourself. Keep up the hard work.
Genetically, people can be predisposed to certain body attributes, but weight gain is not one of them. If you monitor your eating correctly and consume less calories than your body burns, there is nothing there for your "genetically predisposed body" to turn to fat. A lot of people cite hypothyroidism as a cause for weight gain, but the American Thyroid Association states that hypothyroidism can only be attributed for 5-10lbs excess. I have close friends who suffer PCOS and thyroid problems and still manage to maintain a healthy weight.
Physical appearance is the #1 reason for attraction; you typically don't "see" someone's personality first. I was attracted to my wife's appearance when I met her, and fell in love with her philosophy and standards for a healthy lifestyle (which mirrored mine). I do take pride in the fact that my wife is pencil thin a normal, healthy weight because she takes pride in it, and it amuses me when people spout off the "you'll get fat when you're older/get pregnant" nonsense because she is a great example if that NOT being the case. "Pudgy/chubby/think/voluptuous" are commonly applied to people well over a healthy BMI these days. We strive to be as politically correct as we want, but human nature is to judge people based on physical appearance. The "laziness and ineptitude" is a valid judgement for someone who is clearly overweight; laziness for work towards burning more calories daily with simple and short exercises like walking. Ineptitude for researching the foods they're putting in their bodies daily and track calorie intake. Instead of working to better themselves physically, a lot of people are willing to hide under "big is beautiful" banner and get offended when people don't agree.
If my wife gained 80lbs then that would signal a serious shift in her outlook on health and life, and would be a deal breaker for me. I'm not ashamed to claim that, as I fell in love with a person who is food and health conscience and works daily with others to help raise health awareness. If she drastically changed in that manner, that would mean that she is a different person than who I married. Like wise, if I were to balloon up 80lbs+, I wouldn't expect her to tolerate it either. Doesn't mean that I expect her to stay 120lbs for the rest of her life. But if she started eating junk food daily (we never eat out, just home cooked healthy meals) and gaining weight exponentially then something has gone awry, and it would greatly concern me and would need to be addressed. As parents, we're responsible for raising a child as best we can, and eating fast food everyday is not something I would want my child to be around.
And I'm definitely not insulting your wife or fiancé or anything...I think you took my original comment a little too personally.
I didn't take it as a personal attack on my wife per se, but your first post seemed to really have disdain for skinny women. Your experience was from college though, which I can completely understand. I would also like to state that I'm not calling your gf/wife lazy or inept because of a few vanity pounds. I don't know what "a little bigger" constitutes as, but you're well entitled to enjoy whatever body type you want. I don't hate fat/overweight people, I just don't like when people try to say that weight gain is an onset of age. If you want to be overweight (or date someone who is) then it doesn't affect me and I don't care. I just don't like when people pass off overweight as the normal, and anyone who is average/lower BMI just got lucky in the genetic lottery. It invalidates the hard work that people put towards keeping a healthy BMI.
You're going to be fat one day too you know. You're 30 so you're still in the "I'm young I'm invincible" phase...but watch out, it's a comin!
Not a chance. I'm 29 6'5", 230lbs at a 11.5% body fat, and in the best shape of my life. I've worked hard to achieve my physique and don't plan on losing it any time soon. That is why having a partner who mirrors my lifestyle was very important to me, and one of the biggest reasons that I love my wife.