Me [25 M] with my GF [25 F] of 1.5 years, she's never orgasmed, seems less interested in sex

Chick here, with a similar issue. I have SUCH a hard time finishing, it's unreal.

For me, and a lot of girls, sex is mostly mental. Yeah, you need the right stimulation, but you also have to be in the right mindset, which can be hard to do. If I'm stressed about something, or the TV is on, or if I'm worried that it's taking me too long to finish, or if I'm worried he isn't enjoying it, etc etc, I can't finish. If I'm too cold, can't finish. If I get distracted, can't finish. Also trust plays a huge role. I have to 100% trust my partner and be completely comfortable with him if I'm to finish. Daunting, right? And if that wasn't bad enough, I absolutely cannot get off from just PIV. It's impossible. I need clit stimulation, and a lot of it.

With all that working against her, it can get frustrating. My SO and I just went through a rough patch where I lost a lot of interest in sex because I wasn't getting off and wasn't enjoying it. The longer it went without me getting off, the less I cared about ever having sex again. I knew he was trying his hardest, but I just couldn't finish for some reason, and would get so upset with myself that I eventually just shut down. We would go weeks without and I wouldn't care.

I eventually woke up and realized I missed that bond with my SO, that I deserved to feel good too, and that I needed to be proactive to fix it. I bought toys (cock rings are the best thing ever) and started coaching my SO with exactly what I wanted. As for the dryness (which I had too), what sort of foreplay do you guys do? I hate lube (it's gross) so I need a lot of clit foreplay to get wet enough. How much do you focus on her, and just her, while trying to initiate?

Maybe go buy a vibrator together (or just surprise her with one!) and use it on her. Focus on her entirely. Toys are a godsend for girls like us.

You guys can get through this :)

/r/relationships Thread