I actually relate to aspects your your experiences. About two years ago, I went through a divorce. My husband was stressed and angry at the time and was really mean to me. He has self-reported that he has anger management problems. I took all of his behavior and remained positive, trying to save the relationship. But, when he filed for divorce, I became extremely angry. I had never experienced such rage and volatility of emotions. After some time, I began dating again. I met a man who was really passionate and intense and he quickly told me that he loved me. The bond and connection was almost like none I had ever felt. I quickly put him on a pedestal. But, ultimately it was a short-lived experience. We got into an argument and he broke up with me and he quickly disappeared. I felt really hurt and angry. This triggered all of the feelings of rejection, abandonment, and loss of deep connection/stability that I had felt with my ex. With this new guy, we went from extreme intensity in feelings and connection to a complete zero. I felt like I had no closure, that I was used and then discarded. I then did the same as you and essentially text/email bombed him. I professed my feelings of love, hurt, and anger. He wrote back in a cold and neutral tone, just apologizing that he led me on and that his feelings had changed. I couldn't emotionally handle the loss and kept messaging him. He asked me to stop contacting him, but I still couldn't because my feelings were so heightened and I couldn't just let it go. I was seeing a therapist at that time and when I explained the situation, she mentioned that I may have certain BPD traits and recommended DBT. I never thought about it afterwards because the diagnosis seemed scary. But after reading your post, it made me think of that experience again. Anyways, I'm now just trying to be in a more emotionally balanced state. I'm more careful about allowing myself to enter emotionally charged relationships blindly. I'm more discerning about who deserves my trust and love. Thank you for sharing your post, I understand where you may be coming from.