I don't know the full details of your situation (how is he financially able to support himself etc) but I'm kind of in the same boat.

My partner is 33 and working on his 3rd degree. He worked, for 3 yrs as a programmer - almost 5 years ago.

His ex wife made 3x what he made and so they agreed that he didn't have to work and so he was the stay at home husband (with no kids) and just went to school full time. When they divorced, they split their assets and so now he has a large sum of money to where he doesn't have to work for the next 5-6 years if he didn't want.

I struggle really really badly with this. On the one hand, if my husband made 3x as much as I did and he agreed that I didn't have to work I'd stay at home too! But I also feel like he should be an equal partner and he wasn't and ... I don't know. I guess there is a traditional part of me that says "he should have worked, regardless, because that's what adults do".

Now that he doesn't have his ex wife's income and is living off his budgeted assets I've made it very clear to him that I cannot and would not financially support him. I'm a social worker and while I'm getting my MSW and plan on becoming a private licensed therapist, I would still not make enough to support two people and I wouldn't even if I did. Just now how I was raised and I'm not okay with it. So he knows, that when he finishes this degree he needs to get a job.

I am worried that when the time comes, he won't be able to find work. But, he assures me that he will because his field is very specific and need people w his degree (bioinformatics).

I am happy in all other aspects of our life together and don't want to leave him. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that when he finishes his degree (in 3 semesters) that he will work hard to find a job and will be employed.

I haven't really set a time frame in my head (I guess I am waiting for when he is done with school and gauging his commitment to finding work etc) but I will emotionally and financially prepare to leave if he doesn't seem like he is working towards finding employment.

So I don't know what my advice is....

How important is it to you that he be driven, in a 9 to 5 type job? Some people live simply and cheap so that they can work as little as they need to; they're most focused on living life and being adventurous. If this is him, are you okay with it?

Or, is he living off of loans that are going to weight you both down financially in the future when you are in a more serious relationship?