Oh boy, I was once her. My mom wasnt to this extent, because I could drive, but she didnt want me going anywhere significant unless I had a boyfriend along. Friends didnt even count, I needed a guy. I couldnt move out, or travel. It eventually made me fearful and im still struggling with anxiety about going anywhere by myself.

I got lucky by having a break up before a big vacation, and ended up going by myself. My mom hated it but I had the time of my life!

I wish I had someone to support me to grow up, because I was in a little protective bubble and didnt realize I was wasting my life. Im now 30 with not a whole lot to show for my 20s.

Im sure shes the same way. She doesnt realize living this way is damaging and will affect her life. You cant really help her until she wants out of the bubble. It sounds like shes finally seeing the light, but its going to take time.

If you care for her and want to still be with her, help support her independence. Be there for her, but maybe hold off on getting engaged. She really needs some time on her own to figure out who she is, and not who her parents expect her to be.

If she doesnt help herself towards being on her own, you need to let her go. She will be a huge burden on you.