Me [26 /F] darkskin black woman keep getting rejected by non black men [_25/M] for lightskinned black and mixed race women?

I've read through all your other comments and am going to jump in here and say this:

If this is your personality, I'm willing to bet very good money that this is the reason why you have a hard time in the dating world. You create a victim complex for yourself, you're almost dependent on the idea of a relationship, and as another user pointed out, you have a colossal chip on your shoulder.

First, with skin color: Yes, people have preferences. I have it and the rest of the world has it. I've come across a good number of people who didn't want to date me simply because they weren't attracted to my ethnicity. I don't give a fuck. They're attracted to who they are and if I'm not what they're looking for, it isn't anybody's fault.

However, when you start talking about skin color and biracial kids in regards to status, that's where it starts becoming very unappealing. Personally, it comes off as obsessive and honestly very naive. On top of that, it crosses the line where I'd feel that the other person wants to be with me because of my skin color rather than having it be a factor in attraction, which is a colossal turn-off.

Second, you fixate on these aspects of your life that obviously cause you emotional distress to the point where you're almost unable to function, but rather than get help for it or recognize it's unhealthy, you blame the rest of the world for your own problems. Simply put, it's extremely unattractive when someone doesn't have their shit together. On online dating sites, I've gotten messages from women along the same lines. They're tired of seeing all these fake/superficial/skinny/[Insert Trait] people in the world to the point where they are always angry, and blame the world for their emotional overreaction. It doesn't matter to me what they look like, how educated they are, what they're looking for in relationships, etc. The minute I get a message like that, I never respond back.

Third, in your other comments you are basically fixated on this idea of a relationship. No one likes a dependent partner. Relationships are nice, but a huge red flag for me is when someone feels that they need relationships to be happy. I cannot be with anyone who feels they cannot be happy single, period. Along the same lines, it's immensely unattractive when someone needs to seek out identity/happiness/meaning in relationships. And it's not just me - it's a very common sentiment among people our age. Most people are looking for someone who wants to - but does not need to - be with them.

So as someone else in my mid-20s, I can say with conviction that if this is the personality you're giving off to people you meet, that this is the reason why you have issues dating. You're now at that age where people are looking for someone wholesome and put-together that they can date. Whereas with you, being 100% honest, you come off as someone who'd be immensely co-dependent with a ton of unresolved emotional baggage, no responsibility for said baggage, and a knee-jerk reaction to push off your own issues onto other people.

/r/relationships Thread Parent