I would never prevent him from seeing them. I never said that I would and I never have. I never mentioned it in the post above. NEVER. I even said that telling him he cannot go would be mean of me, so please never assume that that would be what I want in this case.

I just feel left out that is all. I won't make anyone choose between me and anyone because if I'm worth it, he'll choose me. Simple as that.

Where I live, it is considered polite and "common sense" as a MIL to invite the girlfriend over first - I never wanted to be rude. Also, we have a teeny tiny apartment, not enough space. No backyard, nothing...we're looking for a new one though and I'd have invited them over by no later than when we finally had more space.

I do not want to dis her, I know this sounds extreme not knowing more than this one issue. I have nothing against her, I just want to know what she has against me. I don't understand why she doesn't want to see me, know me. It's not like he changes girlfriends frequently.

I want to earn her respect but how? I can't invite her over. He never takes me along with him. I have brought her a gift when I met her and was extremely polite. She just didn't have time to care about a conversation with me...

That's what making me so sad. There's finally this chance but it's 10-12 hours of driving for meeting them for not even 24 hours of attendance? Am I coming off as desperate if I decide to pull through with it? Am I coming off as an asshole if I do it and thus make him see them for a shorter amount of time? Am I coming off as an asshole if I don't go? Isn't kind of mean of her to just not include me in this whole thing? She specifically said it's for her family WITH partners. She finally did anyways...what do I do?