Me [26 M], how to explain to future prospects that I left the mother of my child during the pregnancy?

I will do my best to put aside any commentary on your past actions, and just comment honestly on your potential future. Your dating prospects will depend on both the age of your date (younger vs. older woman), and what kind of relationship you're hoping to forge (one night stand vs. FWB vs. long-term).

Most women in their mid-to-late 20s & 30s are looking for long-term relationships. As such, they look for men who are responsible, mature, have solid employment, and - if a baby daddy - have maintained a consistent, loving relationship with their children. Toxic relationships with baby mommas or non-existent relationships with children are big red flags. TBH, most women w/out kids at this stage aren't looking to raise someone else's child or take on that kind of emotional baggage. Women will also clue in & notice if a guy actually spends time seeing/talking/listening to his children.

Pardon my brutal honesty, but it sounds like you currently have almost nothing to offer a woman who wants any kind of serious relationship. Few women would judge a man for leaving his pregnant GF if she was carrying another man's child; however, the fact you left your own child - regardless of how you felt about its mother - is a red flag that cannot be ignored. As such, probably the only women around your own age who might date you are those looking for one-night-stands or a non-serious FWB setup.

Younger women (early 20s) and older women (mid-30s+) will probably not bother, unless you happen to be very good looking, get a job paying lots of money, and/or if they're only interested in sex. Keep in mind your ability to attract hot young college coeds looking for sex will greatly diminish the older you get.

My advice: get yourself sorted first before you even attempt to date seriously. Get the child support situation planned out, and work on getting a better job to provide for your future child. The self-imposed distance will require consistent & frequent communication. Open a bank account & deposit money in it for your child's education/college fund, so s/he knows you truly do care about his/her future. You should consider moving back to the area to be physically present in your child's life as well. Not only will all these things help your kid in the long run, they will also help you mature as a person.

/r/relationships Thread