Me [26M] with my ex-fiancee [25F] of three months, told me she is scared of me.

I don't think you sound like some terrible abuser or anything, but I'm on your ex's side here. I know it's hard because you're hurting, but look at it from her perspective. The two of you were arguing a lot, but you didn't think it was a big deal. Obviously, she did. So she broke up with you. You couldn't move out, so she agreed to let you live there and tried to be civil. AFTER breaking up, you thought she was acting in an "uncharacteristic" manner, so you let her leave and then tried to follow her to check up on her whereabouts. THIS IS REALLY CREEPY. Then you confronted her and she freaked out because you were being creepy. And you're holding that against her? Now, you want to talk to her...but what needs to be said? She broke up because you guys were arguing a lot and she was unhappy. She tried to keep it civil but was at worst a little tactless and things blew up. You guys are thoroughly broken up and all she needs to do is hand over a few things, which she's perfectly willing to do but you're insisting on "talking" to her, though even you admit that you don't actually need her to respond. So basically you just want to vent to her/chew her out. Why would anyone agree to that? She doesn't owe you anything except handing over your stuff, because you guys are broken up and she has moved on.

So as for the question about whether she's trying to avoid you or you're a psychopath...that's way too dramatic. She is trying to avoid you, I'd guess, because you've been acting in a creepy and somewhat scary way. But I'd guess this wasn't easy for her, either.

As for you...you're acting in a creepy and scary way, but that doesn't mean you're a psychopath. It means you were surprised and are not dealing with the grief of losing your relationship well. Which is still on you, because you've got to learn to handle this stuff better.

And closure is bullshit. You can have a million "closure talks" and you'll still be just as torn up inside until you take responsibility for your own emotions.

/r/relationships Thread