Me [27F] with my parents [40'sM/F]. At what point do I kick them out of my life?

I had a similar upbringing. When I was one years old my parents lost custody of me, and my two oldest siblings. My Uncle (paternal) and his wife got legal guardianship of us all. They had two daughters of their own who were older than all of us. Not to soon after my brother was placed in the care of my Aunt (maternal) because my Uncle did not want to care for more children, nor a boy as I've been told. My parents have a bad history of abuse, neglect, alcoholism, and mental illness. Unfortunately some of my siblings were affected by my parents mental illness and environment, and aren't cognitively their age.

Anyways to main issues at hand. My Aunt was very abusive towards my sister and I. When we were little we were apparently cute and according to her as we got older we got worst. What she meant by that I have no idea. My sister and I were never allowed to do what most children and adolescents do. Around middle school age my Aunt barred us from most of our family because they were bad influences. We were threatened to be sent to live with those family members or be put into a mental institution.

I started being depressed as a young teen as I recognized that I was hated by the only family I really new and was growing jealous of all my peers who seemed to have what I thought was a normal family. I struggled with not being wanted, low self-esteem, and wishing I was never born.

It didn't get better as I grew older, it was worst. Since I had become an adult my Aunt became more controlling over me. Most young adults go out and have fun.... I went to school, work, and went home. Having a bf was off the table too until I turned 20 (I wasn't even allowed to speak to boys ever as a teen). She hated that I would spend a lot of time out of the house.

At the age of 22 I had a wonderful guy who is now my fiancé. I confided in him which I haven't told a lot of people of what I had been going through. I had enough and needed out. I feel as though I wouldn't be alive If I stayed because my depression would of taken over my will to live. So I made the decision one day to flee the house. Packed a few bags, got into my car and drove away. From that day on my fiancés parents took me in, although I have never fully told them everything. I quite frankly don't feel comfortable enough to do so since his family seems so perfect. My fiancé and I moved into our own place almost 2 years ago.

I do not have contact with this family. I have a few of my family that my Aunt barred me from on FB but never once have spoken about what I've dealt with. Nor have I seen any of them in years! It is an emotional struggle almost daily. Sometimes I do feel guilt for leaving how I did, and often regret it. Sadly I still have love for them even though they proved at many times to not have any for me. It kills me inside to know our relationship probably won't ever be repaired, they do have health concerns and I worry about having this broken relationship up until they pass and be really deep into depression. At the same time I have anger and resentment towards my Aunt mostly.

So you have every right to feel the way you do. I have mixed emotions about my past, my family, and just everything. Sometimes barring people from your life is necessary to work on yourself and be the person that you need to be. I feel as though if they haven't changed (the people that have hurt you), they never will and therefore will only make you more sickly emotionally, and psychologically.

You can PM if you need someone to talk to considering I can relate.

/r/relationships Thread