LOL! I love your analysis - I'm sorry about your ex, it sounds like she has a really hard life.

Part of the fault is on me, of this I am sure, but not because I am living in my mom's basement with 9 cats - because I wasn't the right guy for her. I smoke weed, she doesn't, I play videogames, she doesn't, I do exciting physical activities, she doesn't, I am outgoing and gregarious and hard to embarrass, she isn't. We are, ultimately, opposite sides of the same coin.

I tried to relate to her but she has more trauma in her life than I do and so I could never really understand whatever motivated her. Her stepfather killed himself when she was 16, that completely rewired her. She was probably sexually assaulted in a past relationship because she has a massive scar on her back that she doesn't know where it came from and woke up on a beach with some guy in LA. I AM a good guy. I may be lazy in some ways, a space cadet in many ways and a tad weird, but she was/is broken in many significant ways.

The thing is - NONE of her past bothered me. I was fine with it. In fact, I cherished her more because of it because I looked up to her. I saw her as someone who could walk on clouds and could battle any of her personal demons. I drew strength from her. I think she resented me because she might have believed me to be weak, as you have said, by not fucking her over in some way or another or, alternatively, by oversharing my lifestory with her which is not what her vision of a "man" would do.

I am a very compassionate, open-book type guy. I am, as the pick up artisist people might say, a "beta" in the sense that I have emotions and I share them. I am "alpha" in the sense that I think it takes character and strength to be truly vulnerable with other people. I took risks sharing my soul with Olivia. and I'm glad I took those risks because I'm learning a lot. But II also feel broken too. I feeel weak and worthless much ofhte time and am overly sensitive to rejections from coworkers, friends, other women, family, etc. (non-romantic, just talking about self-confidence right now).