That helps a lot, thank you. I definitely want to continue to work on us. We have a lot of good going for us. I've brought this up a couple times using very similar language to what you posted. I know she listened to me and I know she's trying. Things have been getting better overall, I just can't help but feeling disappointed when it becomes an issue again.

I do tend to do that thing you're talking about, feeling really bad and apologizing like crazy and trying to make up for it. I never considered how it might deter someone from being honest about why they're upset.

I guess what it comes down to is working on breaking out of our bad habits, which does take a lot of time and a lot of patience. I just tend to get very anxious - probably have some diagnosable anxiety disorder - and my mind spirals into the worst possibilities when I know she's upset but isn't telling me what's going on.

Does your boyfriend deal with the same thing? Did he get super anxious when you wouldn't open up to him? Thanks for the response.