Hi, I'm in a similar situation. My partner and I have been together for 12 years and we had talked so much about marriage for years and it just never became a priority for him.

Eventually it became too big an issue for me to ignore. So I sat him down and told him if it was never going to happen I needed to know so we could sort out some legal stuff (we have kids) we would continue as before no change to our relationship but I could stop waiting.

He said no he wanted to marry me so I said. Fine it has to be now, we will figure out the money and the practicality later but we need to do this now. We went shopping picked out a ring, took a week to get it in my size and in that time we told no one.

Then I got the ring he gave it to me (got down on one knee in front of the tv). And we started telling people.

On one hand I was finally engaged - on the other hand I don't feel like I got a proposal. It all took two weeks from okay let's get married to actually telling people. I never want to be with another man so I won't get the chance again. No one will ever choose to ask me to marry them, will ever think, I love that woman so much I need her to be my wife. I don't doubt that he loves me I just sometimes feel heartbroken at what I missed out on.

BUT we are getting married!! And I can tell he wants to, that he loves me. In the end I wanted the marriage and when I feel down about what I missed out on I try to think about what it is that I am not missing out on (if that makes sense).

I'm focusing on what I have, not what I have missed and it helps most of the time. Try to focus less on what you wanted your proposal to look like and more on what you want your marriage to look like. It'll make you feel happier I think.

And congratulations xx