But the other decision, being a father, will seem like it's not a choice.

Choices are limited for both parties, IMO. Women can choose abortion, but they also have to deal with working out their personal moral stance over it, as well as dealing with criticism and judgment. If a woman can't get an abortion or can't morally rationalize it, she can feel quite trapped as well. I don't think it's easy for either party.

To be clear, I'm not denying your feelings or saying they're out of line. I can understand where you're coming from and see the dilemma of those in your position - and I personally wouldn't consider someone a "deadbeat" simply for not wanting to participate, but rather, I reserve that for people (men or women) who handle those situations terribly. Like my brother's dad who shipped my moms things to her mother's house and said she could come home if she "got rid of it". That's a bad way to handle the situation.

But, as it stands, there's not really a logical way to justify a man forcing a woman to carry a pregnancy to term (at least for now, in our current political climate) just as there's no way to force her to terminate it. So while a partner's thoughts should be discussed and taken seriously - in the end, she has to bear the weight of that decision to the greatest extent. It's a difficult issue to navigate, from a moral/ethical standpoint (in terms of philosophy, not churchiness) - but when it all boils down to it, both parties consented to sex, and the male's choice (other than not being involved at all) occurs when he ejaculates inside of her (regardless of whether contraceptives/birth control were used - it's not always effective). If the radicals succeed in outlawing abortion or making it unattainable, she may very well lose her additional opportunity of choice in the situation as well.

Hopefully male birth control hits the market sooner rather than later, to add additional risk prevention for pregnancy, and to give men more responsibility/engagement/control in preventing conception as well. At least that way, one can minimize chances of an unwanted/unexpected pregnancy even further with multiple backups (IUD/Birth Control, Male Birth Control, Condoms, etc.).

I hope I didn't offend you - I find this quandary interesting as it's difficult to navigate without infringing on someone else's autonomy, and it's difficult to find any sort of resolution that satisfies the involvement of the two parties that are at odds.