Me [29 M] I complimented a girl's [29 F] bookcase and she said never speak to her again

If you think this has anything to do with a bookcase or even anything you did, you're mistaken.

In a sense, I'm just like you. I can't deal with the thought of making someone sad or hurting them or making them feel anything other than good. But something that's common in people in general is an inability to take ownership of their faults and feelings and shortcomings. It is simply easier to blame other people for one's own unhappiness. Because you're emotionally invested, its significantly harder for you to see how irrational, extreme and borderline abusive this behavior is and I totally understand that. It is conceivable that perhaps you did something that upset her that was legitimately "bad" and her reaction is to take it out on you like this. But if that is the case, you still are not at fault because you are adults and if she can't articulate to you what she's feeling and why then you can't be held responsible because you have no idea what's going on and furthermore, that becomes abusive when her reactions cause distress in the form irrational extreme behavior.

You aren't a mind reader. She needs to grow the fuck up. You should be grateful because she just did you favor by cutting you out. I know it's hard, I know you want make yourself responsible (which by the way, we do because it's easier for us to understand. We can control ourselves but not others) but do not. Run away. If someone else, a friend or family member, told you this story, you'd probably say this woman was insane and you shouldn't associate with this person anymore. And that is the right answer.

/r/relationships Thread