When your husband is pushing a human out of his body, he can choose who gets to be in the room. Til then, you call the shots, momma.

I have a similar set up with my family and my husband's family. My family is great, but we're not all up in each other's business; while his family know everything happens and has an opinion about x, y, and z. It's baffling to me. With my first child, similar to your husband's ex, I got caught up in the tide and let my boundaries be trampled (his parents stayed with us for TWO MONTHS. In an 800 square foot apartment...We damn near divorced over that). For my second child, I was prepared. I set my boundaries and let my husband know that any foots stepped over my lines would result in WW3 between me and his family. I wasn't a dictator- but I had reasonable boundaries and knew from past experience that they'd cluelessly barge though them if he didn't back me up.

All this to say- UGH, girl I feel you. It's hard not to get overly anxious about this, but the truth is- this is one of the few times you can control your environment. Very few things will go to plan the day you give birth, but you do get to decide who is present.