Me [29F] with my BF [32M] of 6 years. I have cancer gene and now we disagree about how to have children.

Okay. First of all, I'm pretty sure there is no procedure in the world that 'takes out' an embryo then puts it back if it's healthy. I think what you are thinking of is when eggs and sperm are mixed in a lab, the resultant blastocyst is tested for the gene and the healthy ones are transferred to the uterus. Surely? If not please someone correct me.

Second of all, I'm glad you've remained super confident and largely unconcerned, but I think your boyfriend has valid reservations.

I totally agree that it's not as fun and natural to go through genetic screening to have a baby, but you are also creating a person. What if they do have the gene and aren't quite as relaxed about it as you are?

All said, you have autonomy and can do what you like. If genetic screening isn't something you are willing to do, it's fine if it's a deal breaker for you and it's fine if it's a deal breaker for your boyfriend.

It's also something you'd really have to disclose to any future partners, so I'd think carefully about the likelihood of finding someone else with the same attitude as you.

/r/relationships Thread