She has a very narcissistic mother. The woman has caused great suffering and caused a lot of damage. Same goes for her two siblings. They damaged her a great deal before I came into her life.

Her father abandoned her family when she was 5. Later in life before his death she'd learned he came to visit her other two siblings but not her. Both parents literally had nothing to do with her in life but were always there for the other two. I witnessed that myself.

She was raped by a family friend when she was 9 or so. That messed her up in the head badly. Especially since her mother said not to speak of it ever and never got my wife help.

And there's other things she's dealt with. A lot of things have messed her up sadly. I guess I just try to be compassionate and understanding.

As for how I know the nature of the relationship with the one guy? I saw their texts. A cop contacting me back in October (too long to explain that). I also back in January spoke with his wife. And just talking to my wife. And counseling. My wife came to know his wife AFTER the affair started (but his wife didn't know apparently). She looked at my wife as a troubled person in need of guidance and support and thought her husband would be a good influence on my wife. The handful of times they had sex was to appease him to get what she wanted (the father figure). Sad, sick and disturbing really. She ingratiated herself into his life as a little surrogate daughter knowing his wife and kids personally, even going to birthday parties and dinners.