If I could reach through the screen & hug you, I would. I also have chronic health issues that have made working full-time a challenge, and my ex also strongly hinted that I was lucky he was so tolerant of me, that most guys would pass me by because of my health. He also hinted that it was lucky I was younger (we dated in my 20s) because women past 30 in my condition would have a hard time getting married.

He said these things in a "loving"/playful manner ("I know you're a mess, but your my cute little mess", etc.), so it didn't really dawn on me that his comments were demeaning. I had low self-esteem, so I always agreed with him when he pointed out how defective I was anyhow. Does this also sound familiar?

One day I was home early from work & spent two hours making a home-cooked meal. He got home & spent the entire dinner criticizing my cooking, how many pots/pans I used, how I folded the dishtowels the wrong way, and basically called me useless. Later that night, he blamed his comments on a stressful day at work...but did not apologize.

Notice how he is now my EX.

Do not marry this guy or tie your life to his. You deserve so much better! Tell him you don't want to get married until you can get your career back on track & get healthier, that it makes more financial sense to put the wedding on hold for now. Your health makes it tricky to move out if you have to, but do you have any family/friends who could help support you for a little while if you had to leave asap?