Assuming you broke up for reasons related to their personalities, gender really wouldn't have made a difference.

I'm in a great relationship with a man, but am still very attracted to other women. We are part of our local swinging community, and have relationships with some other couples who we meet up with once every few months just to hang out, or to hook up with. I still get to have sex with women and indulge that part of myself, without it having a strong effect on my identity or causing big changes in my personal life.

If sex with women is important, talk with your husband. You shouldn't throw away a great relationship just because you assume he wouldn't be supportive. See what he has to say, and then see if there's anything you can work on. That doesn't mean that you start jumping in bed with women, it means you start testing the waters. Start talking with someone, go on a date, and see how your husband feels. It may take time, a LOT of it, for him to potentially change his perception about monogamy. If he's willing to try though, you might be able to get there.