Me [31F] with my spouse 38[M/F] of nearly 11yrs. He's not working, never plans to again, doesn't want me to work either, has crazy nutso plans for the future, and will probably stalk me if I leave him. I need to make him leave me...suggestions? No Cops Plz

Thank you. I don't feel like his wife anymore, you're right. One night, maybe 4-5 years ago he started to freak out about something he thought I did, and after pacing in circles for over an hour to the point that his feet were actually getting damaged, he sat down and started talking about himself in third person. Saying that he was incapable of love etc. This has happened maybe 3 times in 10 years. Anyway, the first time he did it, he was lashing out at me more than I could handle so I started to gather up my things. He crawled on hands and knees into the bedroom and started bashing his head into the floor. I stopped packing and went to check on him and he was normal again.

He is amazingly good at pretending, it took 5 years into the relationship before he mentioned that he had threatened his parents not to tell me things about him. More than 5 years in to tell me he was molested as a child and that he liked it. There is still a lot, I'm sure, that I don't know.

I'm fed up now, I just want to end it as drama-free as possible and it feels safest in my mind if I make him want to go. He's going to ask me to give up the apartment and live in the woods with him this summer. I feel bad that I don't want to but the more I think about it the more I'm sure I'm not going to do that, it's insane. I'm not giving up my apartment. I have a recording of him in the room after we had a fight about me not wanting to live in the woods. He was screaming "WAAAHH WAAHHH I can't be without internet" "WAHHH WAHHH, I can't be uncomfortable for a few days."

It still blows my mind and helps me remember my resolve to leave him.

I will never have kids with him, I started wanting kids a year or two ago but I always think "Not with him."

He wants to rescue boys and girls that are being abused, including sex workers, says he wants me to manage the girl's campaign and that I was the first girl he rescued. He's obsessed with human trafficking and wants to save them all.

So you're absolutely right. He's nuts and I need to go, but I can't get past the feeling that as uncomfy as my life with him is, life after I call the cops on him or whatever, is going to be so much worse.

/r/relationships Thread