My boyfriend did some similar shit. He had a small stash of "tit inflation fetish" porn and even paid a tit-inflation model for an expensive personal cam show last year. This sort of shit has definitely had a lasting effect on my self-esteem, as I am very small breasted (not even a full B cup). He swears I'm beautiful and whatnot but it's hard to believe when a guy will keep going back to the same thing. You end up wishing you looked like that thing he keeps desiring.

It's hard to fix what you did. My bf did all this stuff like a year ago, although I found the fetish boobie porn on his phone in February (I wasn't snooping, I was looking for a picture of us we took and the porn was the first photo). It takes a long time of staying away from that shit to show me the fetish isn't more important than me, but I know he keeps going back to it. The truth is that if I am confident in myself I can let him masturbate to the porn. It doesn't interfere with our sex or anything, it's just something he does when he's away.

He told me I can't smoke weed and that'd he'd give up porn if I gave up pot, but he keeps relapsing into the porn (and I kept going back to pot). Frankly, I think we'd be happier if he had the porn and I had the ganja. I care a lot less about this shit when I can get high freely. The biggest thing here is that we both need to feel secure and be allowed to indulge. I think if we both indulge freely, I could grow content with his fetish, so long as it doesn't get between us in sex or lead him to cheat. But that is how I want to deal with it. I feel like suppressing us both is a bad idea.

But to address the real matter: she cheated on you. Don't sugarcoat it.