Is it me?

I'm currently in that phase, too, so I really hope what helps me can also help you - but ultimately I just hope that you find the help you deserve.

How I start to pull myself out of it is by acknowledging that it's probably me adding the stress onto these situations, and that it's not intentional from a 'conscious choice' standpoint.

Then I try to break down why I'm having negative reactions to/around the people I love, which sometimes are tangible real-world frustrations, and sometimes theyre not. I try to remind myself that those aren't really my feelings, but the chemical imbalances'.
I have no direct control over the chemical imbalance but I can control how I react to it. Staying self-aware that the irrationality and irritability is no more my choice than the colour of hair I was born with is a very important part of being able to get better, because it takes some of the power it holds over me away.

However none of those steps would be reasonably possible for me without the love and support of my fiancèe. Being able to talk to her in the same way I would think the thoughts to myself, and know she's not judging, or getting mad at me is what helps the most.

I know this is extremely anecdotal, but open communication is what has helped me the most in my life with dealing with this - it seems like such an obvious answer, but it can be so difficult to see due to stigma, judgement, stubbornness, fear, being too deep in either spiral to see ir for what it is, or because some people simply not understanding or empathizing.

If you can't openly talk to your partner, family, or friends - or you feel you can't - there are typically many help lines to call in most areas, and I'm a big jerk for not directly linking any but I'm on mobile, and I'm sorry.

The most important part is to get those thoughts out of your head, by speaking them - rather than trying to lock them away for any number of reasons. It doesn't need to be a big, earth-shattering conversation, you can start with something as small as "I feel like every conversation I have lately is negative or turns into a fight, and Im not sure if its me".

All the best.

/r/BipolarReddit Thread