So i've had contact back and forth through mail, i didn't push my luck, it was just for re-initiating contact. i always figured she would feel anxious about meeting me and being confronted with the potential re-awakening of old feelings. Because she's promoting her new guy on facebook, and she's not the type that switches guys every few weeks or months. It's not her personality, she only had longer term boyfriends. She has got a stake/ serious investment in him now, and loyalty and commitment is important to her.

Even if she told my own sister a few months ago, that if it came down to feelings alone, she had them alot stronger for me.

So i kept mail contact, and it became more and more as we used to talk and communicate, friendly, fun, joking, and freely. But only after i let her feel i am happy as long as she happy, even if it's with someone else. I noticed the pattern where she got more and more curious about what i was up to after that. In specifics she wanted to know, where i was, where i went, what i did, with who.

For my main email account i always have my mails default on read confirmations, and my last mails i told her about my busy and tbh, mostly fun and happy life right now, and she forgot the role she was supposed to play, i feel, and showed more eagerness to engage in our old roles. I kept getting notifications she opened my last mail maybe 10 times and took considerably longer to answer it, and she had a really awkward reply. with what seemed like a dodging subject that she's probably moving away from Tokyo and she doesn't think/know she can see me still. But the whole feel to all her mails is she's afraid or feels guilty to get close to me again.

I have not given her a single sign i am still interested, in fact, i even suggested i am happy for her new relationship. Did not ask or say anything that suggest hidden neediness. The insecurity about this is coming from her.

If she doesn't feel anything, why not just see me? I didn't and wouldn't push for it, but i feel that's what she really wants to, but does not want to risk feeling familiar with how it was with me.

We laughed and talked non-stop always when we were together. And we never had a single fight we didn't solve within an hour, and never slept together in a bad mood. The drama happened in the long distance part of the relationship, in eachother's presence, we were always happy. I guess some might say i was playing a game, but i feel i was testing the waters, nothing else. for my own sake, but also for hers.

Honestly, i do not think she's moving, it's too transparant, but i feel i should congratulate her, let her know i care alot about her and kind of regret not seeing her again but wish her the absolute best. Not even asking about specifics.

Tp avoid what ruined it before, was my excessive neediness during the breakup aftermath, i don't think showing any of that again, will do me good. I think all i can do, is stay calm, live my life, let her realize i care, but also accept the current situation. And let it play out, and in the meantime keep working on myself. But i'd like advise...