Me [36M], fresh out of a short relationship, no idea where to start over again.

Awh, thank you so much for your kind words!

As far as the Lady, if you can be friends, thats a great thing. There is nothing like a close female friend to tell you what she thinks is going on in the mind of other females. I fill this role with a number of my guy friends. And 2 of my ex-es are now two of my closest friends, though I haven't seen them in person in years.

Match.com isn't a fail-all. Its a tool. Just like a bargain bin in the store, most of it is crap, but once in awhile you get this amazing deal. Thats match.

From your speech patterns, I'm guessing you're a UK-er? I don't know if they have them there, but here there are upscale dating services. They pre-screen your dates to make sure they are employed, not bankrupt, truly single, not a felon, and have lasting potential. They also do personality workups, life goals etc, to make sure you're getting matched to what you're looking for. Now, mind you, that service does not come cheap. Last time I looked into it it was like $1700. But heck, going out to bars and events gets expensive too, so maybe it's worth it.

All I can tell you, is that if you were in the US and I was 36 again, I'd be chatting you up :) You're going to find someone great, I truly believe that. A caring guy with ambition, responsibility, a job, and intelligence is such a hard thing to find.

Most of my friends tell me that as you get older, networking is the key. Casually let your friends and family know you're looking. Those people know you best.You'll get a few frogs, but who knows what else you'll catch?

Other things to consider, maybe start attending a larger church. Take up biking and join a biking club. Volunteer at an animal shelter...not necessarily exactly those things, but you get the idea. You have to get out there and meet people but not be obvious about it. And remember, for each new guy friend you meet, he has sisters, cousins, co-workers, his wife has single friends....Just gotta network it!

Feel free to stay in touch while you're on the hunt. We can't have you getting morose again, that is not a trait the ladies like! :)

/r/relationships Thread Parent