ok, Me (19f) and my ex (20m) took a break about three months ago. i wanted it because we were long distance for 2 years of the 3 years we were dating and i kissed someone and felt horrible about it. he cheated on me early on into the relationship so i feel as though it was me trying to get back at him and wanting to be "free" while I was drunk. I told him about the kiss and brokeup with him. He came back from college for break and we saw eachother and know that we should not date again for awhile but we are both very much still in love. I am now going to college in my town but i am transferring to the larger out of town college that he is going to in 3 weeks for spring semester. I wanted to take the break to explore other options but when I go down to his larger college I still want to go party and do my own thing, but I dont want to break his heart or lose him. I can not bear the thought of him being with someone else or me losing him. He is my first love and I thought that i wanted to marry him. I know that I can have fun while being with him in college when we are together but I am just scared that I will regret it and change my mind or want to cheat on him when I am drunk. And I also fear that he will not be able to trust me again and our relationship will never be the same. When we were dating he has trust issues but tried to get over them because I never cheated or did anything like that to him, and I also had trust issues that I tried very hard to get over because of him cheating on me early on into the relationship. We talk about starting on a clean slate and I hope that we can do it, but I just dont know if Ive had enough time to be single. I know that I love him and do not want to lose him but I am so confused! Someone please help...