Well, let's consider why racist jokes in general are considered not-okay:
- They may make people feel degraded and mocked.
- They may reflect or reinforce stereotypes, which could in turn strengthen oppression.
White people could certainly feel degraded and mocked by jokes about white people. In terms of #2, though, I think that's a problem reserved for racist jokes about non-white people. If we're talking about majority-white societies where white people still hold disproportionate wealth and power, white people aren't oppressed or even disadvantaged, so racist jokes about us aren't tiny contributors to a great big problem. They just have the potential to be rude.
The commonly accepted explanation (which you hinted at, re: male vs. female jokes) is that power dynamics make it okay to make fun of dominant groups. I think the reality that escapes most people is that in America, ‘jokes’ typically told about minorities and ‘jokes’ about white people are fundamentally different: the former are almost always insulting, and the latter are typically not.
Consider: You ‘enjoy’ stereotypes about white people (e.g. “Stuff White People Like (SWPL)”), but jokes about Jews make you uncomfortable. Jewish jokes (I’m sure you have some examples) typically characterize Jews as stingy, greedy, or deceitful (in the pursuit of money). By contrast, SWPL largely makes lighthearted fun of white people for: living in San Francisco, going to Trader Joes, retirement planning?
A lot of what pass for ‘white jokes’ are actually affirmations of upper middle class status: “LOL I eat kale and go sailing on the weekends I’m so white”. It’s a weird humble-brag that actually fits right into the common trope of associating white (people) with positive things (i.e. middle class wealth/habits) and others (usually black) with negative or lower-class stereotypes. The worse white jokes ever get is, for lack of a better term, cute: “LOL they can’t dance.”
Let me contrast ‘white jokes’ to (my reductive summary of) the jokes made of other minorities in America. Black people: “LOL they’re poor/ stupid/dangerous and speak non-standard English”. Mexicans: “LOL they’re poor and illegal”. Indians: “LOL they sound funny and serve slurpees and drive cabs”. Chinese people (in America brown ppl are Indian/Mexican, pale ones are Chinese): “LOL they’re small and weird - and they know math.” Notice that ‘model minority’ status doesn’t mean that Asians get to celebrate humble-brag non-jokes . It’s not all about race either - Catholics: “LOL child molestation”.
It’s not the minority status of Jews, Blacks, Asians, or Catholics that make these jokes insulting/uncomfortable. The jokes are insulting by design. Why do you dislike American jokes? I’ll take a guess: probably because they tend to characterize Americans as ignorant, decadent, and/or militant.
TL;DR: White people jokes seem okay because they’re typically not insulting, while jokes about minorities are uncomfortable because they are.