hink so. But it is harder than this.
I know I am doomed to live like this, there is simply, no exit, because if it was another problem such as bad relationships, you can overcome that, but mine is a different more complicated problem.
I have just seen all types of shit. I have been close to death, I have seen dead people on the street, people commiting suicide.. I also like pages such as LiveLeak or BestGore, that have opened my eyes to the idea of uncensored documentaries, freedom of speech, etc.
It is just that i realized that we live in a world of lies, its all a lie. I go to school, sit my ass down 8 hours when i would prefer
running around playing sports or downright thinking other things, not making myself another slave of this capitalist system.
The termination of oneself seems the best idea. There will be one less shit on this already shitty world. Anyway, only bad things could await me. I might not do it today, or tomorrow, or in 2 years. But i know I will do it.
The fact that I cant speak with anyone about it makes it worse. And if I did, they will laugh at me. No one comprehends me, but it does not matter. I half comprehend it, that's enough.
I dont know anything anymore. We worry about such trivial things... I would like right now to leave everything behind and run away. Leave my home, my brother and my mother, then run away into god knows what. But I can not.
Anyway, i am going to sleep now, which will cost me a lot of time. Thanks everyone for the time, but this is my own little war against myself, and I will be the only one who will fight it.